The Gay Wedding Experience

We parked a few blocks from City Hall and made our way to the top of the stairs to meet and greet with everyone. After we all exchanged hugs and kisses, Anne pinned on our beautiful boutonnieres and we made our way to the office of Vital Statistics. There, Kelly gave us the breakdown of what would happen which was REALLY helpful! She gave us the correct form for a marriage license and we started completing it. It was pink. Once completed, we took our places in a very short line. We were called up to the front counter and a very nice woman looked over our form, compared them to our IDs (social security cards and passports) and reviewed all of the information with us. I was so nervous. She asked Tom if this was his first marriage and he said “Yes.” Then she asked if he had ever been in a civil union prior and he said “No.” She then asked me if this was my first marriage and I said “No.” WHAT? I recoiled, thought about it again and said, “No this is my first marriage.” Then she asked if I had ever been in a civil union and I correctly answered this time saying “No.” We then raised our right hands and swore that the information we had given was correct. She smiled and said that our license would be ready in about 10 minutes and asked if we wanted to have a justice of the peace marry us, to which we replied, “Please.”

As I walked outside to meet with the others, I started to get very emotional. I felt like an idiot too for not being able to answer the woman’s questions correctly. It is so strange doing something that you know nothing about! On top of that is the fact that we are doing something really really big, something neither of us would have expected to have happened 10 years ago when we met. And all I could think of were the  previous years – the trials and tribulations that we have overcome together when most couples I know would have run away and split up. I’d be lying if I said it had all been easy. Don’t get me wrong – we have had WAY more easy fun times than bad or diffucult, but we have had our share of those too. Unlike other couples though, we have always believed in our relationship and have worked hard to maintain our union no matter what. And now, we were publicly announcing our permanent love for each other – committing to each other on the largest of scales. I was marrying this man today and he was marrying me. We were committing to one another that we would always be there for each other no matter what. And it was legal! If I looked one of my friends in the eye I started crying. I was so happy. We were all so happy.

After a quick bathroom break, we all went back to the office awaiting the marriage license. When it was ready, we proofed it. I had been so nervous even when I filled out the form that my handwriting wasn’t as clear as it could have been. My mother’s maiden name was incorrect. Once it was corrected, our Justice of the Peace brought it out. Her name was Barbara, a sweet older lady wearing a cardigan and a lanyard. Two of my favorite things. She took us into the hallway and asked where we wanted to perform the ceremony. Tom and I had chosen a spot recommended by New Havenite, Kelly Prizel on the second level. So we made our way up the stairs into this beautiful hallway. We stood in the center of a grey round rug between two tall doors and a clock. David and Christina stood on my left and Anne and Roseanne on Tom’s right. The ceremony was longer than I had imagined. Barbara talked about love and our union and what it means. Then she made her way to the vows. Tom was the first to say “I do.” I was jealous of the clarity in his voice. Then I uttered the words “I do” in my best broken, choked-up speech along with the other vows. After the ceremony was over, we kissed and hugged each other, shook the hands of Barbara, and hugged our friends. It was complete! We were legally married!

While we waited for our copies of the marriage license, we had a quick photo shoot with Kelly (pictures to come in the next few weeks). Afterwords, we received our copies of the marriage license, thanked Barbara and Kelly once again for everything they had done for us and made our way to the park across the street for our wedding cake and champagne. The cake was my favorite from Del Friscos and the champagne was a vintage 2000 Dom Perignon, a gift from Christina Fontana. I topped the cake with my grooms, a gift from my sister to Tom and I many years ago. We had a lovely time on the lawn just being together and celebrating. After a bit, David had to leave to make it back to Provincetown, MA in time for his three performances that night! The rest of us made our way to Caseus for lunch. I was in a sugar coma but managed to eat a bit of our mac and cheese with broccoli, grilled cheese with tomato, cheese quiche, and of course some meats and cheese platters. Thank goodness for Anne Cox and her lactaid.

After lunch, Anne kissed us goodbye and Tom, Roseanne, Christina and I made our way to some outlets for Mexico shopping. Roseanne was clearly the winner having scored the best sales and purchases. We left around 6:30pm and drove back to NYC. We were tired and happy and hungry. After dropping off Christina at her new apartment in Williamsburg, we drove over to Park Slope for Indian food. Tom and I made it home at around  10:20pm. It was a truly lovely day.

I wish Tom had off today too but he doesn’t. Just me. I think I’ll make my husband something really nice for dinner tonight. That sounds good: Husband.

Brian
The Bridegroom

PS. A special thank you to our dear friends and family, to Kelly, Barbara, the state of CT, and to our wedding party. We love you all!