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    over a year ago
  • The Grooms


    A Message from Tom and Brian

    Dear Friends, Family, and Community,

    Words cannot express the overwhelming gratitude we feel at the outpouring of support and love we have received in the last 24 hours. It has been a whirlwind of emotions.

    What has occurred is unjust and we promise that we will do what we can to make sure it doesn’t occur to other couples in the future, regardless of sexual orientation. To provide you with a bit of an update and to correct some of the misspoken statements in the media as of late…

    1. The image was from our engagement photo shoot and not our wedding. The photograph was taken by the talented Kristina Hill of Kristina Hill Photography.
    2. Despite the rumors that we have hired lawyers – we haven’t – yet. In fact, we have reached out to GLAAD and have spoke with representatives at LAMBDA Legal a couple of times today.It is our hope that LAMBDA Legal, “the nation’s oldest and largest legal organization working for the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, and people with HIV/AIDS,” will take up our cause.

    We encourage you to continue to share this injustice with your friends, families and communities. And if you or anyone you know has any connections, suggestions, recommendations, or other advice for Kristina, Tom and me – we are definitely interested in hearing from you.

    Tom and Brian

    In the News
    (If you know of more, please let us know)

    “Public Advocate of the United States” Steal a Kiss – And it’s Gay

    Today, I received an email from Jennie, a friend of mine from college. Last week she was reading the NY Daily News when she came across an article “about some politician’s attack ad on his opponent.” In her email she included a photo taken with her iphone of an image which accompanied the article. I searched and searched but was unable to locate that article, but came across another which included the same image written by reporter Lynn Bartels at The Denver Post.

    See for yourself:


    Here is the original image before it was stolen, defiled, and mailed to thousands of people:

    Photography by Kristina Hill Photography

    We learned from Bartel’s article, that “this mailer was paid for by Public Advocate of the United States, a conservative Washington, D.C., group and targets Sen. Jean White for her vote last year and this year in support of a bill allowing same-sex couples to form civil unions. (handout).”

    First off – I want to share what this picture means to me. It represents my first home away from home, my beloved NYC, which at the time this image was taken (2 years ago) did not allow same sex couples to marry. It represents my longterm relationship with my best friend, my partner, and now husband – the love we share and obstacles we have overcome. It is a reminder of the happiness I felt the day he proposed to me and of the excitement I had all throughout our engagement. It represents hope and it represents love. Or at least it did…

    Now I see it faded and brown with a big red, blood-emulating slash across our bodies.  It cuts us in half just below our hearts. How do I feel? I’m in shock and I’m angry and I’m hurt and I’m flabbergasted and I’m livid.

    And, I can’t help but feel the need to warn other LGBT couples that hey, even after you overcome your fears of coming out to your families and friends and coworkers; even after you graduate and leave that hell-hole of a high school, where every single day you feared for your life; even after all the letters to your senators and the countless marches that eventually won you and your state the mariage equality you deserve; even after you find your soul mate, get engaged and then married… someone, a stranger, will seek out your image on the internet, perhaps on a site like this one which was created to document our journey down the aisle with the hopes that our experiences would benefit other LGBT couples… steal it and use it in an attempt to destroy others who support you.

    I tell you what – I never saw that coming, would you?

    Don’t worry friends – this is not the end of this story.


    “Ugh” created by Kristina Hill

    Christmas Cards – Other Uses for your Engagement/Wedding Pictures

    One of the things I have noticed in the last few weeks is that there are not a lot of pictures of Tom and I together. As a matter of fact, the only real pictures we have of us as a couple are those taken from our wedding or engagement shoot. As you can imagine, this makes creating a Christmas card all that more difficult. Or does it?

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE my wedding/engagement photos, shot by Kristina Hill. Not only was I 20 pounds lighter (true haha), but we are glowing in almost all of them.  So why not use them in the Christmas Card (again – I did that last year)? I see no reason not too. With a little photoshop – you can come up with something like this…

    Merry Christmas everyone!
    Tom and Brian
    The Grooms


    Quote of the Week: Amy Ray

    Throughout our lives, we will come in contact with people who have different views that us. Some of those people will hate us because of what we are and who we love. Some will just not understand us. This will happen in person, over the phone, via the internet. This can occur in our own families. This type of reaction is even more visible during the wedding planning process, and after you are married.

    Don’t be afraid to have the discussion, to argue, to hold your ground. Don’t be afraid to speak up and to dissolve relationships that make you so unhappy because of religious or core value differences. Let it Ring!


    The Bridegroom