The Checklist
From The New Essential Guide to Gay & Lesbian Weddings by Tess Ayers and Paul Brown with additions by Brian:
PHASE 1: 6-12 months prior
- Set the date and time of day
- Establish priorities and set goals
- Discuss finances and crate a preliminary budget
- Set up the wedding planning organization system
- Tell friends and family
- Explore locations for the ceremony and reception
- Draw up a guest list
- Start getting estimates for caterers, florists, photographers, videographers, musicians, and invitations
- Send out Save-the-dates
- Select Officiant
- Figure out preliminary legal steps to take to formalize our relationship
PHASE 2: 3-4 months prior
- Order or create invitations
- Shop for rings
- Determine wedding attire
- Choose wedding party
- Register for gifts
- Decide on locations
- Contact caterer/make food and drink arrangements
- Shop for a wedding cake
- Adjust the budget
PHASE 3: 2-3 months prior
- Mail invitations
- Finalize arrangements with the caterer, florist,photographer, videographer, and musicians
- Meet with Officiant to work on the ceremony
- Order the wedding cake
- Solidify modes of transportation
- Purchase wedding attire
- Record gifts as they arrive and mail out thank you cards
- Adjust the budget
PHASE 4: 1-2 months prior
- Decide on specific music selections to give to the DJ
- Arrange the rehearsal dinner
- Finalize ceremony
- Work on ceremony announcement to be mailed to the press after the wedding
- Arrange for accommodations for out of town guests
- Finalize honeymoon plans
- Do attire fittings
- Buy gifts for attendants and for each other
- Buy wedding day items (guestbook, bird seed, etc)
- Meet with photographer to go over shot requests
- Final consultation with caterer concerning an menu changes
- Talk through the day and list potential snags
- Adjust the budget
PHASE 5: Final 2 weeks
- Reconfirm all services
- Make arrangements for final payments and gratuities
- Pick up wedding attire
- Get honeymoon gear in order
- Double check final costs with caterer
- Final meeting with wedding planner
PHASE 6: The Night Before:
- Set the alarm clock!
- Locate all essentials that you might forget in a panic – wallets, keys, airline tickets, rings, etc – and put them in a safe place
- Read over vows and place the script in a prearranged place with the best person
- Double check that your wedding attire is neat and that you have all of the accessories (socks, belt, cuff links, shoes, underwear, headpiece, handkerchief, and jewelry.
- Pack your getaway clothes for the honeymoon (separately).
- Take all contract information and any other organizational tools collected thus far.
- Make sure you have acquired al required balances, gifts, and tips for the caterer, officiant, musicians, and helpers
- Make arrangements for the collection of mail, and care of pets.
- Call telephone company and adjust plan for the international trip.
- Sleep!